I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
