Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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