Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
