he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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