I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
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so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
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She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
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