weddingsv make me drug and hornr
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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