So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
