That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
