The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize