He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Randomize
