after a month anything with tits is on the radar
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
