In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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