this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
