dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
