I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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