All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
