TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
