At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize