Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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