Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
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