party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo