hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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