I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
