i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
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