it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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