I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
When did angry sex become our thing?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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