real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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