She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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