She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
