i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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