Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
