dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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