that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
