You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
