dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Terrible idea I love it
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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