just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
i think i scared a bird with my dick
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
