am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Randomize
