Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
