I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
And then my night got REAL pukey
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
