brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
