my vag is so smooth its legendary
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
