She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
P.S. I can't hear my feet
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
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