She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
