Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
are you still at the devil's house?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
