I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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