i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
