I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
