My girlfriend figured out who you are.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Of course I have a pirate flag
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
