Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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