dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
