the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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