i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Randomize
