you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
