she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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