I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
