Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
