I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
