dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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