I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I think I am morally bankrupt
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
