you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Randomize
