all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
