It was confusing and full of hummus
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
