Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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