your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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