hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
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My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
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googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
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