was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Randomize
