she looked like the before picture.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
